Kristy Cammell “Oh, is there no school today?”
It’s a pretty common refrain when we’re out and about during school hours. You too? How do you respond? Do you:
a) bristle that homeschooling wasn’t mentioned
b) wish you didn’t have to have that conversation, yet again
c) sigh, say you homeschool, and leave it at that
d) respond enthusiastically, and use it as an educating opportunity
Which option best reflects you? Does it depend on the day? Or your mood? Or do you tend to have a pat answer that rolls out of your mouth?
On the one hand, homeschooling is more common these days, but it is still something that can be easily misunderstood. Not least of all because it can look so different for each homeschooling family!
Questions like the one above can catch you and your kids by surprise some days. Having some possible responses ready can be super helpful. These are things that you can discuss ahead of time, or simply plan to model yourself.
So, how can you respond?
First of all, before you open your mouth, remember your WHY. Remember that you’re doing this for a reason, and that there is so much research and backing around the value of homeschooling for your kids. You know this. I know this. But they may not… yet.
“Actually, we homeschool. It’s pretty neat being able to run our days and terms on a totally different schedule to schools, and we decided now was a good time to pop down to the store!”
Secondly, remember that you only know those things because you are personally invested in the process, and have sought to learn more. You now have a growing base of knowledge and a headspace that equips and arms you in this journey. And this gives you the ability to offer some food for thought to those who have never, ever considered it before. It may not feel like much, but it’s something, believe me!
“Well, we actually homeschool [address your kids] – don’t we, kids? It certainly keeps us on our toes, but we do love it. We’ve just been at… [give a little insight into your day so far; a taste of what a day in the life of a homeschooler can be like.]”
Thirdly, don’t take offence. Instead, assume ignorance (in the nicest possible version of the word) and seek to offer a different perspective. Someone who has never homeschooled before or has had limited experience with anyone who does, will only ever have seen such a tiny part of the bigger picture. There’s a lot of space for assumptions, and you can’t control what someone else thinks. But what you can do, is look at this as a unique opportunity to surprise them and pre-empt some of those assumptions right off the bat. Like socialisation:
“Yup, we homeschool. Although I often smile when I say that, because some weeks we’re hardly ever home… there are just so many families to connect with, amazing places to be and activities to do!”
Fourth, if it’s a particularly pointed or negative comment, remind yourself that we humans are often afraid of what we don’t understand. It’s not your responsibility to change someone’s mind. What you can do, is firmly and kindly demonstrate that their opinion is simply that: their opinion. One that will have been influenced by their own experiences. Then, if they seek yours in return, give it kindly and honestly. And if they don’t? Politely change the subject. Some people need to “see” results for themselves to truly grasp something, and that simply takes time.
“I’m sorry you feel that way about it. I see it quite differently.” [Read the situation and decide whether to leave space for further discussion, or if it’s time to change the subject.]
Fifth, treat the question or comment as a doorway to a conversation. Remember that in this moment, you are the face of homeschooling. Regardless of the tone or intent of the speaker, you now have the ability to educate them on something that matters to you. And to engage them in some banter on the topic. Gently, thoughtfully – and honestly.
“No, it’s not a day off today – we homeschool, so all of life is about learning! No day is the same, and it’s pretty neat being able to enjoy places like this when they’re quiet.”
So often, people’s questions and concerns are related to their fears or assumptions about what they don’t understand. So responding to *those* homeschool questions in this light will help them to feel a bit less personal or targeted at you, while also being helpful for them.
How about you?
Is there something else that you like to say when you respond to people’s questions about homeschooling? Has this article helped? Do take a moment to let us know below. You never know: your idea might be exactly what will work in someone else’s situation.
Let’s be the face of homeschoolers who are passionate about what we do.
Let’s be the face of homeschoolers who are willing to keep the conversation going.
Let’s be the face of homeschoolers who respond to *those* questions with grace.
Let’s be the face of homeschoolers who are honest and real.
“Well… I wouldn’t necessarily say that I have extra patience. I mean, as much as I love my kids, it’s really important to build a lifestyle in which I allow time and space for ‘me’ as well!”
Let’s be the face of homeschoolers who remember that everyone is on a journey – whether they homeschool, or not.
Engage in conversation, assume the best of people, be respectful, and you never know… you might find yourself inadvertently converting people to homeschooling along the way. That’s certainly been my experience!
Stay awesome,
Kristy x
