It’s a reality that as a parent, your time is demanded in so many different directions. And when you have any kids under the age of five, there’s an intensity to what is needed from you that is unique to other seasons. You’ve felt it, right?
The pull of a toddler on your leg, the squawk of a newborn in her cot, the stomp of the five year old by your side… and the compounding realisation that you don’t have enough hands or moments to be
all the things,
to all your little people,
all the time.
It’s called motherhood.
If you’re barely coping with wrangling a preschooler, toddler and baby (or more) right now… I’ll bet that:
- You’re actually doing an amazing job, likely on very little sleep.
- You’re trying so hard to figure out what’s next, that you’re assuming that homeschooling will look much the same as what you’re facing right now. (It won’t, by the way!)
And if you’ve got older kids in the mix and are feeling the stretch right now, you’re here because you’re asking yourself how on earth you can meet all of their needs (learning and otherwise) when their younger siblings still need so much of you.
Wherever this finds you, I can hear you asking: how do you start (or keep) homeschooling the way you mean to continue, when you have toddlers and babies in tow?
Well, I’ve got news for you. In many ways, you don’t.
Yup, you heard me right!
The thing is, how you homeschool will shift and change as they grow and learn, and as you grow and learn. Because that’s the nature of motherhood in general: everything happens in seasons.
I began my homeschooling journey with an enthusiastic just-turned-five year old, an energetic barely-three year old, and a newborn. And let me tell you, there’s something particularly special about those early years. I loved it!
And you can, too. Whether you’re embracing it for the first time, or you’re managing a troop of littlies alongside your big kids.
As a kid from a big family myself, some of my best memories of those years involve doing bookwork with a baby or a toddler sibling on my knee, or at my feet. So please, don’t be afraid to give your older children those memories, and those responsibilities (more about that later). To this day we are a closeknit family, and I’m so glad for the way that my mother made it work for us!
Wearing my teacher, second generation homeschooler and mama hats simultaneously, I’ve put together five top tips for you. Not only for ‘getting through,’ but for enjoying the season you’re in, from the very start, and be sure that you’re doing enough, for now.
1. Flexibility
Your days will be affected by your little ones. That is a given.
So don’t try to fight it!
Work out what you can predict, and use that. Whether that’s meal times, nap times, outings, grandparents coming to visit… or unpredictability (because we all know what some babies can be like)!
Then, think flexibly. (Yes, even about unpredictability).
Flexibility means planning some 1-1 time with your older kid/s when (or if) baby sleeps – even if that’s not always consistent. That doesn’t even have to be daily, but more about that soon.
Flexibility means that you can adjust what that 1-1 time looks like if you’ve had an extra rough night. Or are overwhelmed by the state of the house. Or you can see that your older kid needs something different in the moment.
Flexibility means knowing that some days will be a write-off because baby is teething or sick, and needs you.
Flexibility means making the most of an unusually long sleep time, or letting your older kids play longer (instead of doing what you had planned) because they’re co-operating with each other so well. Or realising that you’re shattered after negotiating one-too-many explosive sibling moments, and that it’s okay to count that character building as enough focused learning for that day.
Flexibility means building breathing room into any plan you make.
And hey – since you have kids, chances are you’ve perfected this particular skill anyway. It’s no different because you’re homeschooling!
2. Rhythm over routine
This lines up beautifully with the concept of flexibility. Rhythm is about having a pattern to what you do within your days, but it’s not necessarily tied to exact timeframes or a routine structured according to the clock.
Try setting a flexible rhythm of homeschooling when baby sleeps… even when baby sleeps erratically! Pick certain days in the week (starting with just one day per week) where you prioritise specifically “homeschool-focused” 1-1 time with mummy. It could be with one child, or with your older kids together, depending on how you want to use the time.
Begin with a minimum length of time (such as 15mins) so that you set yourself up for success (which is a much better starting point than than aiming too high and being constantly disappointed). Let anything else be a bonus.
Over time that can grow to become two or three days a week. Which is plenty, especially when you consider this perspective!
On the other days, plan to allow time while baby sleeps for you to sleep or catch up with housework, instead – whatever is most needed. Because being able to think straight, and having the house ticking over at a rate that enables mama to stay sane is actually an important part of homeschooling. It doesn’t just take care of itself – much as we might wish that were the case sometimes ; – )
It’s up to you to find a rhythm that builds breathing room into your day, week, term and year. This is your opportunity to step out of a traditional school mindset and into the freedom of a homeschool headspace.
If you need more tips and ideas on how to make this practically work for you and your family, I encourage you to purchase my upcoming course (subscribe here to hear when it launches) or to book a coaching session with me, I’d love to help!
Ultimately, you want to build yourself a rhythm that gives you a sense of structure, as well as the flexibility that you need for the season you’re in. You don’t want it to look like school at home. You want it to be life-giving.
Let your homeschooling shift and change as your seasons change.
And enjoy it!
3. Play play play
“Play is the work of children.” Jean Piaget
Play is a crucial part of your children’s development. I’m sure you probably already know this. But it doesn’t stop simply because your child reaches a certain age on a calendar. So much learning happens through play. That goes for on their own, with other kids, and with you.
Building in lots of time for play of different types is essential as you’re beginning your homeschool journey. It’s interesting to note that within schools there has been a big movement in recent years toward what is termed ‘play based learning’ – because experts are noticing the value of play in the process of education. Letting children learn through play, and noticing the depth and breadth of learning that happens when they do.
So if you’re worried about them keeping up with their peers: don’t! Choose a homeschool headspace instead. One that recognises the value of life learning, and how much of it comes from play.
Make play a focus.
Be proactive about it.
Let it happen.
Notice the learning.
Be in the moments.
Play, play, play!
4. Read read read
As much as play matters, so does reading! By that I mean reading aloud to your kids. And while we might all have this perfect picture of children piled onto our laps with attentive stillness as we turn the pages… the reality is that they are kids, and often listening is an active task. Not a passive one.
No matter what they’re doing, build in time for reading. (During meal times is a fantastic way, as they’re already focused on eating). Let them hear the intonation of stories that you love. Invite them to explore and talk about the pictures, even when they jump around the story. Make up stories for the page you’re on. Model a love for reading and for stories yourself, and let that be your curriculum. Audio books count!
Long before a child learns to read or write, a love for words can be instilled.
Long before they begin to decipher words on a page, oral language is a vessel for storytelling and communication.
Having books in your home shows that they matter.
(Check out some of our family favourites, here.)
Your kids are learning all the time, and it’s so much fun when that includes a book in your hand to share together. Ah the memories you’ll make together! (Yes, even the interrupted ones).
So read, read, read!
5. Character building
Have you ever stopped to consider all the learning that’s involved in growing as a family? It’s hugely valuable!
Believe it or not, an essential part of your homeschooling – and their education – simply comes from the way that you do life together.
To bring peace and joy into your home means that you’re constantly working on character building. Things like flexibility, compassion, empathy, responsibility, problem solving, co-operation… just to name a few. There are days when it can feel like hard slog, admittedly. I’ve been there, believe me. But it’s worth it. It really is.
These are all things that your children need to learn, and that will set them up for life. Find more about why they matter and how to define your learning goals, here.
For example: flexibility means training your older kids to know what to expect within what is predictable. And helping them to adjust when reality disappoints. Such as letting them know that baby is likely to nap “in 30 minutes, then once I’ve packed the dishwasher we’ll sit down together.” If it happens like you hoped, great! And if it doesn’t, you’re giving them the opportunity to learn flexibility.
There are so many life skills that you’re helping your children to learn in this particular season of their lives that really do matter.
Just by living!
By training them in responsibility around the house,
equipping them to give you a hand with their siblings,
helping them care for their belongings,
letting them practice co-operating with others,
problem solving when they get stuck,
persisting when they make mistakes,
dealing with disappointment,
learning how to ask for something respectfully,
and so much more.
Each of these grows character-building skills that they need for life.
Don’t ever underestimate the value of that!
What about when some siblings are a whole lot older?
I’m glad you asked! These five top tips apply no matter the age. And as they get older it’s a wonderful opportunity to involve them in creating a rich learning environment for their siblings using those same principles.
Include them in brainstorming and problem solving ways to ensure their own learning happens at the rate that it needs to. While also helping them learn to embrace the joys and the challenges and responsibilities (even on days when it feels hard) that little ones can bring.
At the time of writing this, we are looking after a baby one day a week and it’s been a delight to watch my own now-much-older-kids step up in responsibility as well as get on the floor and play. Both matter – we are never too old for play! Or for the sweet joy and delight that little ones bring to our midst.
Together we find ways to build in opportunities to do schoolwork. Sometimes by basing it around baby’s nap times or by them taking turns looking after him while I sit with each of them, one at time. Or sometimes by building it into other days so that the pressure is off in the moment. We can vary it depending on the week.
Because in our home we’ve built rhythms around flexibility.
And with so many years behind us, my kids know the drill.
So whether your older kids are much older,
or barely five, you can do this.
You can do this!
You are their mama for a reason, and each of your children are so blessed to have you in their corner. (Yes, even when you feel the stretch!)
Friend, remember that you don’t have to do it all at once.
This isn’t about getting it perfect.
It’s not about a forever-plan.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
You won’t ruin your children.
And it’s okay if some of the balls you’re juggling keep landing on the ground.
You’ll get there. You will!
One small step at a time.
Keep being awesome,
Kristy x
Wondering HOW to make the juggle work?
Then you’ll love my upcoming self-paced video course! Join me with your coffee, and discover more tips on how to juggle all the things that homeschooling brings. Inside the course you’ll find full transcripts, espresso notes for on-the-go mamas & reflection questions to help you with next steps, and set you up for homeschooling success. Sign up to my mailing list now to be among the first to hear when this is finally launched.
